January 30, 2017

Bomb Shelters Are Flying Off The Shelves In Fear Of ‘Trumpocalypse’

At least one business is booming in the wake of Trump’s presidency. Gary Lynch, the general manager of Rising S Co. in Texas, says his underground bunker business has become extremely successful since President Trump’s inauguration. He can barely keep up with the orders for his 600-square-foot model bunker, which includes a master bedroom, four bunk beds, a composting toilet, a living room with satellite television capability, filtered air and water, and a storage closet with room for months of food. It seems like every time Trump sends a tweet or signs an executive order, Lynch gets a new batch of orders himself. Over the last few months, sales of Rising S’s most luxurious shelters have jumped 700%. 

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: