October 13, 2016

Saddam Hussein Used To Have A Crash-Pad In The Upper East Side

According to a new exposé in the New York Post, Saddam Hussein, the late – and, according to Donald Trump, “great” – dictator apparently had a secret detention chamber inside a mansion in the Upper East Side. Back when Hussein came to power in 1979, the bushy-tailed ingenue lived the American dream and found a cozy space inside the Mission of Iraq. Hussein used the space whenever he felt like torturing and questioning Iraqis in the area, or wanted to visit one of the several Zagat-rated restaurants in the neighborhood, or simply wanted to watch the leaves change colors in Central Park. Sure the room is windowless and presumably haunted by a lot of ghosts, but it’s prime real estate on 79th Street and 5th Avenue. It’s close to the museums, some of the best schools in the city and best of all: it’s across the street from former Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s house! 

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: