October 11, 2016

Obama Outlines Ambitious Plan To Send Congress To Mars

Tired of our continued attempts to find “rock bottom” in this Presidential election, Obama is encouraging Americans to look up – specifically at Mars – and think about all the wonderful people we could send there. Writing for CNN, Obama outlined his plan to get humans to Mars and back by 2030. He promised to work with private companies, presumably Elon Musk, who recently outlined his own plan to get to the Red Planet.  

On a less ambitious, but probably just as meaningful, note, Obama signed a law mandating that men’s toilets in public buildings must have baby-changing stations, because it is 2016 and about time dads learned how to changed diapers. And people were calling him a lame-duck President!

PNUTTY VIDEO: Obama Isn’t The Only One Trying To Get To Mars

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: