European Central Bank Wants To Make It Rain Euros

On Thursday, European Central Bank chairman Mario Draghi hinted that European monetary policy would remain “looser than a wizard’s sleeve” as the ECB continues to stimulate Europe’s economy out of its “meh” growth phase. The ECB, which keeps trying to Make Europe Great Again, is trying to stimulate Europe’s economy via Quantitative Easing, also known as a “magic trick nobody has to understand.” It essentially involves the bank buying a ton of government bonds. Some hawks (cough, Germany, cough) want this financial wizardry to stop while the rest of Europe, who are facing depression-level unemployment levels, are in favor of more QE. We’ve got six weeks to find out who wins this battle.