September 01, 2016

Venezuela: Day 1 Of The Takeover Of Caracas

Hundreds of thousands of demonstrators marched through the streets of Caracas yesterday to call for the removal of President Nicolas Maduro, but of course Maduro was “unimpressed.” Protestors blame Maduro for Venezuela’s recent downward spiral into food shortages, street violence and general economic panic. Sure his inadequacy led to the country’s “hunger, crime, inflation and corruption” as the protesters reminded him, but at least he never misses a birthday party.

Rather than taking heed to the voices of the people, Maduro chastised the opposition, saying they failed to attract the one million people they were expecting in their march. Indeed, some of the people present consisted of Maduro supporters, there to protest the protestors. Venezuelan police reportedly used tear gas to disperse small crowds of government opponents gathered on a highway, but the opposition insists they’ll be back. There are plans for two more street protests, including one on September 14, which will coincide with the arrival of heads of state from around the world for a summit of the Non-Aligned Movement. 

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: