September 01, 2016

Trump Wants To Build ‘Great Wall Of America’

Trump had his most successful day since the convention yesterday when he delivered a prime time speech on his fabled “wall policy”… but not before trying to build a bridge to Mexico first. Trump shocked Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto when he decided to accept a half-hearted invitation by the President and fly down to Mexico City for a an awkward press conference. The pair discussed Trump’s love for Hispanics, presumably over a Trump Tower taco bowl. Trump looked his most Presidential yet during the joint press conference and remarked that they hadn’t discussed who would pay for the wall. Peña Nieto, presumably too shy to confront Trump to his face, later tweeted that he had assured Trump that Mexico wouldn’t be paying for it.

But the issue wasn’t settled! Trump opened his Immigration speech in Arizona with a guarantee that Mexico would pay for the wall “100%!” but they just didn’t know it yet. He then proceeded to describe his draconian immigration policy, full of walls and deportations, that played to his base and assured them that he wasn’t softening his stance on the issue. 

Curious Read: We Imagine What A Trump ‘Ideological Test For Immigrants’ Would Look Like

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: