September 08, 2016

Russia Receives Its First Biblical Plague In Years

As far as environmental management goes, it is safe to assume that turning a river crimson is pretty poor practice. The Daldykan river, located in Russia’s Kransnoyarsk region, turned a vibrant red after what locals claim was a leak of nickel-copper concentrate from the neighboring Nadezhda plantation. The plantation just so happens to be owned by Norilsk Nickel, the biggest nickel and palladium extractor in the world. Interestingly, a press release from the mining group stated that “the waters show the natural tone” and that there was no evidence of pollution – barring, of course, the extensive biblical discoloration. Locals maintained that this was not the first time that such an event has happened. Clearly concerned, Norilsk Nickel has begun checks of the plantation despite claiming the river is in “regular condition.” Are they looking for evidence of a leak or divine intervention? Perhaps if frogs storm Norilsk next week we will know.

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Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: