September 07, 2016

Apple Announces Most Amazing iPhone Since Last iPhone

Thousands of people tuned into Apple’s event yesterday to listen to Tim Cook butcher Sweet Home Alabama on “Carpool Karaoke” before giving us all the juicy details about Apple’s new products. Apple unveiled the most amazing iPhone yet, with the most amazing battery life yet and the most amazing camera yet. Generally releasing a new product that’s more amazing than your previous product isn’t an accomplishment, unless of course if you are Microsoft (Windows ME anyone?). 

The iPhone 7 is waterproof and comes in black and blacker. It also features “AirPods” instead of earphones as the phone doesn’t have a headphone jack, a decision they labelled as “courageous.” You have to question whether any women were involved in designing this feature as they probably couldn’t imagine digging in their purse for their AirPods. But fear not, for you wussies who don’t want to walk around with two Qtips sticking out of your ears, there is an earphone adaptor you can use. Apple also released a new watch that’s designed to guilt you into working out. 

Pnut Poll: How Pissed Are You That Apple Removed The Headphone Jack?

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Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: