September 14, 2016

Adorable Baby Gorilla Cursed With Name ‘Harambe McHarambeface’

If there is anything to be learned from Boaty McBoatface, it’s that the internet should never be asked for its opinion. Yet again, the naming of an important item was put to a vote, and the internet found the worst possible name possible. This time, thanks to the Jinjua Zoo, there is a baby gorilla that will now forever be known as Harambe McHarambeface. With 93% of online votes, Harambe McHarambeface was the clear winner of the zoo’s poll. The unfortunate name mashes up the humor of Boaty McBoatface with the bizarre sadness of Harambe. There is some hope for our beloved Harambe McHarambeface, at least. The Jinhua Zoo said it would use Harambe McHarambeface as the male gorilla’s English name only, but his Chinese name would be Heijin. Fortunately for Heijin, Harambe McHarambeface is impossible to translate.

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: