August 03, 2016

London Is Getting A Fellatio Cafe

We’ve got good news for caffeine addicts and other types of adrenaline junkies: the “fellatio cafe” that is expected to open in Geneva this year will open a second door in London as well. Finally, a one-stop shop that offers almond milk lattes and oral sex – both with extra foam! The plan is to erect a small but charming Baroque-themed cafe where each patron is handed an iPad with their cronut. The customers will then scroll through thumbnails and select an escort to perform fellatio. With a base charge of £50, it’s getting billed as “the most expensive coffee in the UK.” The legality of this business is still a bit complicated. While prostitution is legal in Great Britain, running a brothel is not. But founder Bradley Charvet is hard at work to make this a reality and insists that his lawyers won’t blow it. 

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Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: