Turkey has a change of heart, Spain is hoping third time’s the charm


Turkey tries a new brand strategy while France combs its Coiffeurgate.

JULY 14, 2016  /  Subscribe View In Browser


NASA’s Juno just sent back its first images of Jupiter. We hope your selfies are just as cosmic today.


Turkey Has A Change Of Heart

In Wednesday’s television address, Turkish Prime Minister Binali Yıldırım said he would be restoring relations with Syria, a massive shift in policy after five years of a civil war. All it took was deteriorated Turkish borders, security nightmares for city officials, threatened relationships with NATO and the EU, two million new refugees in their country and a worn down anti-government rebellion for Turkey to realize maybe this isn’t working. If Turkey really does normalize its relationship with the Syrian government, this could mean the end of the rebellion against Bashar al-Assad’s regime.

Why The Change?

It could simply be that after five years, they’re feeling burnt out. But the more likely reason is that the Turkish government sees Kurdish expansionism as a larger threat than Assad’s regime, and his removal is no longer – and perhaps never was – the priority. Turkey has long been criticized for targeting Kurdish fighting groups that were considered allies in fighting ISIS. Their change of policy could be an honest moment of clarity… or just lip service.

Emperor Of Japan Gives His Notice

It’s hard enough to give two-weeks notice at a lousy job, but Japan’s Emperor Akihito went above and beyond by giving a multi-year notice, showing desire to quit his job but agreeing to stick around for a few more years. Akihito has held the top spot for 27 years and was celebrated for distancing the monarchy from extreme nationalism in a post-World War II era. Fading health and fading interest are possible reasons for his planned departure, at which point Crown Prince Naruhito will be next in line. Abdicating the throne is an unprecedented move in modern Japan, unlike the whole “emperor” thing which is still totally modern.

Good Read: Remembering The Emperor’s Speech On Fukushima


Theresa May: Dream Work Makes The Team Work

Newly appointed UK Prime Minister Theresa May wasted no time assembling her team to tackle the Brexit crisis. She appointed toupée-aficionado and Brexit campaigner Boris Johnson as Foreign Minister where he will “spend more time apologizing to nations he’s offended” than being Foreign Minister. May promised to make this a government that will deal with “burning injustices” and not cater to the “privileged few.” Weird, didn’t know Bernie Sanders was running against her, as well.

Pnut Read: Brexit In A Nutshell

Spain Is Hoping Third Time’s The Charm

Spain’s Socialist party announced that they don’t support the conservative, acting Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, nor will they work with him on any attempts to form a government. The decision could force Spain into a third round of elections. In June, Spain held its second election in six months, and although socialist party leader Pedro Sanchez said he would do anything to avoid a third election, inaction speaks louder than words.

#pnut4prez: Ginsberg And Trump Butt Heads

Open warfare between the legislative and executive branches of government is usually a warning sign that the end of the Republic is neigh. While we aren’t quite at that point, the presidential campaign entered uncharted waters when Supreme Court Justice Ginsberg quipped that if Trump won she might “move to New Zealand,” presumably because the line to get into Canada was getting too long. Trump tweeted that Ginsberg’s mind – one of the sharpest legal minds of our time – was “shot” and that she should resign.


European Union: Officials have finalized plans to create a common “EU asylum system” to alleviate the migration crisis. Under the plan, refugees can only resettle in Europe from third countries that agree to readmit migrants who previously arrived in Europe. 
Mali: UNESCO is worried that the Old Towns of Djenné, a World Heritage site, is in danger of disappearing due to the threat of militants. Mali has lost multiple landmarks in recent years, most notably in 2012, when militants linked to al Qaeda destroyed ancient shrines and tombs in the World Heritage site in Timbuktu.
Tesla: In the wake of the May car crash involving one of Tesla’s self-driving cars, a federal investigation is under way.The US intends to review all vehicles that currently use the autopilot technology.


President Spends Thousands On Hair He Barely Has

French President François Hollande‘s constituents were angry to find out that the balding leader spends nearly €10,000 a month on a hairdresser. The monthly touch ups to his hair presumably cost €50 per trim and the remaining €9,950 is to convince the hairdresser that Hollande had hair. Even then, that’s €9,999 more than what our Editor in Chief spends on his disappearing coif. A classic case of The Emperor Has No Hair, President Hollande’s scandal has outraged citizens, especially those protesting his labor reforms. Unlike his hairline, “Coiffeurgate” might be here to stay.

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