July 20, 2016

Part II Of The RNC Was Decent For A Sequel

Well, we knew this day would come. Donald Trump is the official Republican nominee. After a less-than-suspenseful roll call last night, the Republican Party formally named The Donald as their champion in November’s main event. His kids were there to celebrate, as the audience swooned over Donald Jr. and Tiffany’s personal anecdotes of Trump doing “dad” things …like calling them on the phone. Typical dad. 

Did They Make America Work Again?

While that was meant to be last night’s theme, the only job people seemed to talk about was Hillary’s. New Jersey Governor and rejected Springsteen fan Chris Christie focused exclusively on Hillary’s time on the job, while Ben Carson delivered a confusing speech that suggested Clinton indirectly likes Lucifer. Sure, we want America to work again, but maybe we should start with the speechwriters. 

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: