July 07, 2016

The Chilcot Report and #blacklivesmatter



You can find anything on the internet, even the 17 sperm-donor siblings you never knew you had. 


Chilcot Report: Turns Out The Iraq War Was A Bad Idea

In a classic case of British understatement, the UK government’s Iraq Inquiry, aka Chilcot Report, said there was “no imminent threat from Saddam,” “peaceful avenues weren’t exhausted,” “the consequences [of the war] were underestimated,” “preparation [..] was inadequate” and that the “government failed to achieve its objectives.” Basically, British speak for we fucked up real bad. One highlight of the report was the revelation of a memo Tony Blair sent to Bush at the time where he declared, in a tone reminiscent of a school boy crush, that he was “with you, whatever.” 

Does anyone lose their job because of this ‘mistake?’

Tony Blair, consultant to dictators and chief architect of the Iraq War, apologized for how he handled the lead up to the war but said he still believes he did the “right thing” which is a weird way to apologize. The current leader of Blair’s party, Jeremy Corbyn, called on the International Criminal Court to prosecute those that pushed for war which we can only assumes means Tony Blair. I guess this is one way to distract everyone from Brexit. 

Good Read: Lord Chilcot’s Full Statement On The Inquiry

Baton Rouge Protests The Police Who Killed Alton Sterling

The US Justice Department is opening a civil rights investigation after Baton Rouge police shot and killed a black man pinned to the ground during his arrest. The graphic video of Alton Sterling’s arrest and subsequent death sparked protests in Louisiana, where civic leaders and state lawmakers demanded an investigation independent of the Baton Rouge police. Rumors immediately circulated that Sterling might have been carrying a gun, but the police have not confirmed that. Protests are expected to continue, though Sterling’s family showed some relief that the Justice Department was getting involved. “We’re confident that it won’t be swept under the rug,” said their lawyer.

This is a developing story. Follow Daily Pnut on Twitter for updates.


Lionel Messi’s Fancy Footwork Also Extends To Creative Accounting Practices

Say it ain’t so! Famed Argentine footballer, Barcelona star and four time Ballon d’Or winner Lionel Messi received a 21 month sentence for tax fraud in Spain. The star, whose name was exposed in the “Panama Papers” leak earlier this year, was using offshore companies in Belize and Uruguay to hide “assets” like the use of his face in advertising. Don’t worry fans, he probably won’t actually go to jail… 

Germany’s Xenophobic AfD Party Is Now Hiring 

The anti-immigration fringe party Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) will need to replace one of their MPs who stepped down for his anti-Semitic comments. German politicians have long compared AfD to neo-Nazis for their anti-Muslim rhetoric, so nobody was surprised except AfD when their MP Wolfgang Gedeon turned out to be kiiiiiind of a Nazi. In a book published in 2012, Gedeon claimed that Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a piece of Nazi propaganda with a false historical narrative, was in fact real. Holocaust denial is a criminal offense in Germany and this scandal deals a hard blow to a party that is trying to rebrand itself as “moderate” xenophobes. 

Just Kidding, We Aren’t Leaving Afghanistan

President Obama announced that he would slow down the planned withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan, leaving 8,400 troops there at the end of the year, ~50% more than the 5,500 he promised. The decision comes after a resurgent Taliban flexed its muscles last summer and after critiques that his withdrawal from Iraq left a vacuum which ISIS exploited. At this rate, the UK will leave the EU before the US leaves Afghanistan. 

Good Book: The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan


Brexit: The Sterling continued to fall faster than hearts around Justin Trudeau reaching a new low against the dollar. Some in the US Fed are so concerned with Brexit they might delay raising rates again this year… just when things were getting normal again. 

Oscar Pistorius: The South African Olympic sprinter was sentenced to six years in prison for the murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Pistorius had pleaded that he killed her accidentally, but the prosecution called the Valentine’s Day murder deliberate. 

Rwanda: In a landmark ruling, two former Rwandan mayors were convicted of crimes against humanity for orchestrating the massacre of hundreds of Tutsis during the 1994 genocide. A Paris court ruled that Octavien Ngenzi and his predecessor Tito Barahira will be jailed for life.


Rio Olympians Need Special Suits To Compete In Sewage

The Rio Olympics are less than a month away but you could say that there are still a few loose ends. Rio de Janeiro’s water is still brimming with raw sewage and they haven’t been able to contain a recent outbreak of drug-resistant bacteria. Oh, and that recent oil slick isn’t helping either. The Rio pollution problem has become so bad, Philadelphia University had to develop antimicrobial suits for the US rowing team. Athletes will still have to compete at their own risk, since many scientists argue the suits are still no match for the water’s viruses, which are thousands of times higher than the federal safety limits. At this point, a head-to-toe latex body suit might be their best bet.

Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: