June 20, 2016

Astronaut Returns With ‘World’s Worst Hangover’

Turns out, six months in space is a lot like going on a bender. British astronaut Tim Peake is experiencing the “world’s worst hangover” now that he’s returned to Earth. Peake can barely walk, suffers intense dizziness and is prone to nausea… basically a typical Saturday morning for most of us. He’ll have to spend the next three weeks at a rehabilitation center in Germany where he’ll presumably enjoy the common cure of sweatpants and pizza deliveries. We’ve all been there, Peake! And the nausea, headaches and rethinking of one’s life choices doesn’t seem as grim when the hangover is due to an epic space-bender.

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Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: