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IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

#pnut4prez: Another Day Another Super TuesdayThe Donald knocked it out of the park yesterday winning five out of five primaries by yuuuge margins. After first swinging by the Time 100 Gala, Trump finally got around to giving a victory speech. Not one to win gracefully, he hurled insults at the ineffectual Kasich-Cruz alliance and reminded his supporters that Kasich still hasn’t beat Marco Rubio, the guy who dropped out ages ago. He also encouraged Sanders to run as an Independent in the general election.
What about the Democrats?Things were marginally closer in the Democratic camp with Hillary winning Pennsylvania, Delaware, Connecticut and Maryland while Bernie took Rhode Island. Hillary used her victory speech to pivot toward the general election (for the fifth time) and turn up the volume on an anthem straight out of a teenager’s diary.

Riot Breaks Out In Lesbos Refugee CampGreece’s Migration Minister Yannis Mouzalas visited the island of Lesbos this week, and let’s just say his visit wasn’t as welcomed as the Pope’s. A riot broke out in Lesbos’ refugee camp, with police firing tear gas and reports that several migrants were injured. Many on social media are sharing scenes from the riot, reporting that refugees had taken over the camp that contains roughly 4,000 migrants and began chanting “freedom” over the Greek police’s PA system.

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READTrouble In The Tech WorldApple seemed to have lost some of its sizzle after announcing a drop in iPhone sales for the first time since the product launched. Although they sold more than 50 million iPhones last quarter – which is more than the population of Spain – that still meant a drop in quarterly revenue for the first time since 2003. But Apple wasn’t the only tech company struggling. Twitter also missed projections with lower than expected revenue, with its shares dropping 11% in after hours trading.  

Mitsubishi: We Cheated On Mileage Before It Was CoolMitsubishi, presumably tired of the comparisons to Volkswagen, wanted to point out that they’ve been duping their earth-loving customers long before VW made it cool. The Japanese automaker has admitted that they’ve been falsifying fuel efficiency tests for the past quarter century. As the true OGs of hustling hippies, authorities are making up for lost time in penalizing the company. Japanese authorities raided their headquarters and shares are down 10%.

Cardinal Who Brought Together US And Cuba Retires Havana Archbishop Cardinal Jaime Ortega y Alamino, a key player in the secret negotiations to restore diplomatic relations between the US and Cuba, figures he’s done enough. Bringing together the two countries was kind of a #MicDrop moment, so he’ll be stepping down as the Catholic Church’s top official on the island. Ortega had originally submitted his resignation to the Vatican when he turned 75, as is required of the role. But the Holy See saw there was more work to be done and didn’t accept the resignation until yesterday, over four years later. And you thought your boss was bad with emails. 

Keeping Our Eye On…

• Nightmare Dentist: A French court has sentenced Jacobus van Nierop, aka the “Dentist of Horror,” to eight years of prison for aggravated assault after he mutilated over 100 patients.  
• ISIS: US military officials believe they’ve destroyed up to $800 million in cash held by ISIS. Major General Peter Gersten says the US has been targeting ISIS venues for hiding cash.
• North Carolina: A federal judge decided to uphold the North Carolina voter ID law that opponents feel is discriminatory. The judge ruled that the lawsuit could not prove the ID law hampered minorities from voting. 

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

RoboMonk Is Here To Teach You BuddhismIn an effort to bring ancient wisdom to the digital age, a Buddhist temple outside of Beijing has developed a robot monk that can chant mantras and explain Buddhist tenets on his touch-screen belly. Human monk Master Xianfian developed the robomonk to help smartphone users get in touch with the spiritual. China remains an atheist country, but luckily there are currently no restrictions on a robot’s faith.