March 16, 2016

Third Super Tuesday Is The Charm

 
 

THE WORLD IN A NUTSHELL

MARCH 16, 2016  /  SUBSCRIBE

PNUT GALLERY

Bloomberg released its list of the 400 richest people in the world. Of the top 11, two are named Larry, making it the highest concentration of people named Larry outside of a Nantucket golf club. 

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

#pnut4prez: How Many Super Tuesdays Does It Take To Elect A President? The American presidential nomination process rivals reality TV with its third Super Tuesday yesterday. Here are the results: 
  • Republicans: Trump swept last night, winning five out of six contests (Florida, North Carolina, Illinois, Missouri and the coveted Northern Mariana primary), probably making Marco Rubio cry when he snatched the Florida Senator’s home state and all of its 99 delegates. Not surprisingly, Rubio dropped out. Ohio Governor John Kasich was the only other candidate to win a primary, taking his home state of Ohio in a close contest with Trump. This was his first win of the primary season. Ted Cruz, undeterred by the fact that he didn’t win a single state, delivered a victory speech anyway.
  • Democrats: Hillary Clinton can breathe a sigh of relief tonight as her campaign took home five out of the five contests (Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, Illinois and Missouri) today despite a late surge by her Democratic Socialist rival Bernie Sanders. Bernie will likely continue his fight. This makes sense considering the next few contests are in Sanders friendly territory, and he’s still got lots of money in the bank. 

GOOD READ: Donald Trump’s Butler Gives An Inside Look

Belgium: Famous For Chocolates, Waffles And Terrorists A police raid in Brussels killed one suspect linked to January’s Paris Attacks. Two other suspects were in the area but managed to flee the scene, leaving four injured policemen behind them. Belgians are still confused as to how their sleepy Benelux nation emerged as the focal point of a global terror manhunt following the Paris Attacks. Theories have ranged from lax immigration, to weak gun laws and the fact that they went without a government for 589 days
 

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

Former President Lula To Police: Na Na, You Can’t Touch Me  With hundreds of thousands of protesters taking to the streets, a corruption investigation that targets her regime and an impeachment process underway, Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff has chosen to double down, hiring her former boss, President Lula, as her Chief of Staff. The new position comes with its perks. For example, Lula will now be immune to charges leveled against him that he used his influence to help companies win contracts in return for renovated kitchens (no, really). The market was not impressed GOOD WATCH: Probably Netflix’s House Of Cards Dubbed In Portuguese Russia On Syria: Psyche! Russian President Vladimir Putin channeled his inner Katy Perry (hot ‘n’ cold) by announcing that he would, in fact, continue bombing Syria despite announcing he was pulling out yesterday. Putin claims he still needs to fight ISIS. For once he is actually doing that, targeting ISIS forces around the historic city of Palmyra as government forces prep to maybe take it back. 

Obama Plans Invasion Of Cuba… With Spring BreakersPresident Obama eased travel and trade restrictions with Cuba yesterday in an effort to ease the decades old embargo and bring the Communist Club Med (dictatorship) out of the cold. The move allows Americans to travel to Cuba as tourists instead of as “missionaries” or “students” as they were required to before. Meanwhile, the President is scheduled to have his own Havana gone wild spring break in just four days.  Keeping Our Eye On…
  • Indiana Jones: This isn’t important, but exciting nonetheless. Disney and Steven Spielberg just announced a new Indiana Jones movie for 2019. Harrison Ford is really making a comeback.  
  • Myanmar: The country formerly known as Burma elected its first civilian president in 54 years. This is a testament to the leadership of political activist and politician Ms. Aung San Suu Kyi.  
  • Celebgate: Remember the outrage over the nude pics of Jennifer Lawrence? Well the guy who hacked into her account and the 100+ others was sentenced to 18 months in prison.
 

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Nigeria And Bangladesh: Umm.. Where Did All My Money GoSome of us misplace keys, others lose their phones, but if you are Nigeria’s state-owned oil company you lose track of $16 billion (with a b) worth of oil revenue. The auditor general said the company didn’t explain where the missing money went and that he suspects that it was fraud (ah, tell me more Sherlock). Meanwhile, hackers got into Bangladesh’s Central Bank account with the US Federal Reserve and stole $101 million (password: Bangladeshiscool) delivering $30 million in actual cash (780,000 bank notes) to a dude in the Philippines who runs casino junkets (this is all true). 

 

SPONSORED NUTS: THE SLEEPING PNUT

Why Daily Pnut CEO Looks Forward To A Good Night’s SleepSo, my Casper mattress arrived, and I have to say I’m excited. I even splurged for the extra sheets and pillows (I take my sleep seriously). It came in a big box, which isn’t what you would expect for a mattress, but makes the whole unpacking experience pretty cool (the internet is full of videos of people doing this). They also included a plastic sheet so you could cleanly pack up your old mattress… well done. Looking forward to my first night’s sleep.*  GOOD SLEEP: Get Better Sleep And $50 Off Your Casper Mattress Using Code PNUT  *While this is a paid ad by Casper, I do, in fact, actually own a Casper Mattress which I paid for myself. 

 

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