March 04, 2016

GOP Debate Becomes Literal Dick-Swinging Contest, Kim Jong-Un Gets Testy & Weekend Reads



March 4, 2016  /  SUBSCRIBE



If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS! And they’re baacckk. Same green slime, but a whole new look. Check it out here.



#pnut4prez: GOP Debate Becomes Dick-Swinging Contest (Literally) The GOP debate reached new heights of humor last night, as the candidates (minus Ben Carson) squared off in Detroit, Michigan. Plenty of insults were yelled across the stage but not much was said. While questions on immigration, foreign policy, and Flint’s water crisis were asked, the memorable statements were simply TMI. Allow us to explain:
Donald Trump tried to assure us of something we really didn’t want to know. “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, he referred to my hands. ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

Ted Cruz responded to the “lyin Ted” moniker by turning the same accusations on Trump. “You know, Donald has a tenuous relationship with the truth.”

Marco Rubio took multiple opportunities to tease the candidates. After Cruz repeatedly told Trump to breathe, Rubio interjected, “When you’re done with yoga, can I answer a question?”

And then there’s John Kasich. “People say to me everywhere I go, ‘you seem to be the only adult on stage.'”

Seriously Though, Kim Jong-Un Needs To Chill Just in case you needed some more excitement after the GOP debate last night, North Korea’s Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has some chilling words for us all. He ordered his country’s nuclear weapons to be readied for use after the UN Security Council approved tougher sanctions on the country’s nuclear weapons and ballistic missile programs. With this change in military strategy, Kim, in his own words, is aiming to deprive “enemies to sleep in peace till the moment they meet their final end in their land.” Following this announcement, North Korea allegedly launched six tests Thursday, according to its neighbor South Korea. This is not the first time the Supreme Leader has flexed his nuclear capabilities when challenged by the US and South Korea. But we sure hope it’s the last?



The UN Speaks Out Against… Ban Ki-moon?It’s hard to imagine UN human rights experts turning on one of their own, as it would seemingly undermine their own credibility. But that’s how dire the case is in Haiti, where UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon is failing to effectively treat patients with Cholera. Five experts have come forward in a scathing letter to the UN chief, providing overwhelming evidence that UN troops were the ones who brought Cholera to Haiti, and Ban Ki-moon’s refusal to compensate victims “calls into question the ethical framework” of the organization. The UN is new to the anti-UN party. In fact, the party has been going on for years — there have already been several related lawsuits made against the organization since Haiti’s Cholera outbreak began in 2010.

GOOD READ: The United Nations’ Role In Haiti’s Cholera Outbreak  

Brexit: Donnez Moi Un Break, PleaseContinental Europe warned of grave “consequences” if Britain voted to leave the EU in a planned Brexit referendum this summer. The French said that a “no” vote would unravel migrant agreements, which keeps migrants stranded in Calais (essentially saying if you vote “no,” we will send you a bunch of refugees). London’s Mayor responded in his characteristically “mature” manner, asking the french to “donnez moi un break.” London would stand to lose the most in the event of a “no” vote.   

Venezuelan Opposition Is Asking Neighbors To Mediate Crisis There’s inflation, and then there’s hyperinflation, and then there’s bouncy-castle on a Jupiter-sized balloon inflation, and then there’s Venezuela. Considered the world’s worst performing economy, opponents of President Nicolas Maduro are asking the Organization of the American States (OAS) to end the standoff between Maduro and the opposition-controlled National Assembly. The opposition has not been able to get anything done since taking a majority hold in December’s elections. They’ve, therefore, invoked Article 20 of the Inter-American Democratic Charter, which allows OAS to take its own measures in restoring democracy in the event of “unconstitutional alteration of the constitutional regime.”

GOOD LISTEN: Venezuela, The World’s Worst Performing Economy

Keeping Our Eye On…



Leonardo Finally Wins Oscar Only To Leave It In A Nightclub After victory laps at Governors Ball and the Vanity Fair afterparty, Leo allegedly brought his beloved Oscar to a bar to meet the whole family. You would think that after years of desperately seeking the golden statuette, Oscar would be the true guest of honor, but no. Oscar was abandoned like one of Leo’s model ex-girlfriends. Leo got so drunk, he left Oscar in the club. TMZ has footage of the actor vaping, drinking, dancing, and looking a little tipsy when a man comes running to his car with the forgotten Academy Award. 

Weekend Reads

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