NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ
Armed Marshals Arrest Man For Unpaid Student LoansGone are the days of Dickensian debtors’ prisons, or so we hoped. Seven US Marshals armed with automatic weapons turned up at a man’s Texas home over his $1,500 student loan debt. According to reports, Paul Aker was arrested, shackled (seriously, is this a Charles Dickens novel?) and sent to a federal court. Texas Representative Gene Green argued that “there’s bound to be a better way to collect on a student loan debt,” most likely referring to 21st century practices. Paul Aker’s fate is uncertain, but it’s likely his lender will be visited by three ghosts tonight.
China Just Displaced 9,000 People So They Can Search For AliensEarth to China: This is a bad idea. The People’s Republic is nearly finished building its massive 500-meter telescope made for finding extra-terrestrial life. To complete the mission, however, the government will have to relocate over 9,000 people. Apparently, the human chatter disrupts the “electromagnetic wave environment.” There is no report on how disgruntled residents are, though perhaps some are willing to sacrifice in the name of… science?
#pnut4prez: Donald Played A Dirty Little Trick On Jeb
The trolling among Republican candidates has reached a new level. When running for public office, candidates usually buy any and all relevant domain names during their campaign. It looks like someone (possibly everyone) on Jeb Bush’s campaign has been snoozing, and JebBush.com is now owned by Trump supporters. Seriously, try it. Type JebBush.com into your browser, and you’ll be redirected to Donald Trump’s website. Expert-level trolling.
Keeping Our Eye On…
- Nicolas Sarkozy: The former French President is under investigation for irregularities in his 2012 campaign funding.
- Russian Vodka: The export dropped by 42% this year, due to Russia’s many political tensions and “bad press.” It seems Russia’s activities in Ukraine and Syria were nothing to cheers about.
- Boutros Boutros: Former Egyptian UN Secretary General Boutros Boutros-Ghali died at age 93 today. You can check out his interview with Ali-G here.