PNUT GALLERY

Happy MLK Day! To the unfortunate souls who have to work today we suggest you don’t open Instagram or else you will be bombarded by photos of friends enjoying their long weekend in Vail, Trinidad or their couch. 

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

#pnut4Prez: Bernie and Hilary Duke It Out Things got testy at last night’s final (thank God) Democratic debate before the Iowa primary (Feb 1). Hilary Clinton and Bernie Sanders exchanged blows over healthcare, financial reform and gun control. Meanwhile, YouTube “bloggers” asked the candidates a few questions in an awkward attempt to appease people below the age of 30. Here are some highlights from the debate:

• Bernie Sanders: The senator from Vermont declared war on Goldman Sachs, accusing it of being the root of all evil. He unveiled a “medicare for all” plan two hours before the debate ensuring that no one had the time to properly read it. He focused much of his airtime on the perverse effects campaign financing and lobbying have on the democratic process. 
• Hilary Clinton: She used the debate as an opportunity to attack Bernie Sanders on gun control and accuse him of ripping up Obamacare (which he doesn’t want to do). She promised to build on Obama’s policies, positioning herself as the “safe” candidate who would consolidate the progressive gains of the last eight years.
• Martin O’Malley: He’s still running… we don’t know why either. 

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

Al-Qaeda Competes With ISIS In Race To The Bottom An Al-Qaeda attack in Ouagadougou, the capital of Burkina Faso, claimed 28 lives over the weekend. The attack mirrored ISIS’s Paris Attack, targeting two hotels and a cafe. Al-Qaeda has been competing with ISIS for the title of “world’s biggest a**holes” with the two organizations conducting attacks in Burkina Faso, France, Mali, Indonesia and Turkey recently. 

PNUT READ: Our Summary On ISIS

Unlikely Doubles Partners Ace Investigation Into World Of TennisBuzzFeed and BBC (didn’t expect that collaboration) uncovered a match rigging conspiracy involving Russian and Italian gambling syndicates in the world of pro-tennis. 16 out of the top 50 men’s tennis players are implicated in the investigation, at least eight of which will be playing in next week’s Australian open. The duo analyzed betting patterns to determine which matches were fixed and discovered that players were getting bags of $50,000 to lose games on purpose. And we thought tennis was boring.

GOOD READ: BuzzFeed’s Investigation Into The World Of Tennis

Taiwan Not Feeling The Love For ChinaTaiwan’s pro-independence party DPP won a decisive victory in yesterday’s national elections. The country voted in its first female President, Tsai Ing-Wen, and kicked out the ruling pro-China party KMT. The move threatens to increase tensions with Beijing which views Taiwan as part of China. Clearly the majority of the Taiwanese people don’t feel the same way…

Keeping Our Eye On…
 

• Flint: Obama declared a state of emergency in Flint, Michigan yesterday as it emerged that a cost cutting move by the state contaminated the water with large amounts of lead. #austerity
• Drugs: A French clinical trial of a new painkiller left one dead and five hospitalized. The situation is being investigated as manslaughter. 
• Bitcoin: A lead bitcoin developer declared it a “failure” and decided to sell all his bitcoins causing the crypto currency to crash by 10%. We are still trying to figure out what bitcoin is. 

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Cinderella’s Shoe Offends Taiwan In the world’s most misguided appeal to women, a church in Taiwan built a massive glass shoe church. This 16 meter high church has “female-oriented” features inside like maple leaves, chairs for lovers (WTF?), biscuits and cakes (because apparently that’s what women love). For a country which just elected its first female President this is, frankly, a little bizarre.

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