December 03, 2015

Who Am I?

 
 
 
 

PNUT GALLERY

 

“Battle skills got the Papal seal, you know the deal I keeps it real”. One Twitter user imagining Papal rap after a picture went viral of the Pope looking particularly badass on his trip to the Central African Republic.


IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ


California Shooting: Opportunity For All To Push Their Political Agenda


Another mass shooting in the US yesterday with 14 people killed and 17 injured at a holiday party for a a centre for people with developmental disabilities in San Bernardino, California. Police identified the suspects as Syed Rizwan Farook and his wife Tashfeen Malik. Farook, a county employee, was at the party earlier then left before coming back with his wife for the assault. Both were killed in a police shootout.

What now?
The tragic events will undoubtedly play to both sides of the political spectrum. The fact that the shooters are of Muslim descent threatens to stoke growing Islamophobia on the far-right and the fact that this was the 355th mass shooting this year will strengthen calls for gun control on the left. Maybe a fear that terrorists can easily buy assault rifles at gun shows will lead to a compromise? Oddly enough, the fear that another racial minority might easily purchase arms might have started the modern gun control movement.
 

 

UK Votes To Crush ISIS With Long Speeches


After 10 hours of debate/yelling/speeches, the British Parliament yesterday voted to carry out strikes against ISIS in Syria for the first time. Royal Air Force Tornado jets took off on their first missions an hour after the vote. The parliamentary debate was particularly acrimonious after British PM labelled opposition leader, Jeremy Corbyn, a “terrorist sympathizer” for his stance against the bombings and Corbyn’s own ministers openly challenging his position. 
 

BRITISH VIDEO: The Greatest Speech In UK History?


NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ


Montenegro To Give NATO A ‘Huge’ Boost

 
NATO is set to absorb the tiny Balkan state of Montenegro (location of Brad Pitt’s first ever movie) into its alliance. The alliance has come under pressure recently with Russia testing its resolve in the Baltic states and, most recently, with Turkey (NATO member) shooting down a Russian plane. NATO’s expansion plans angered Russia, but NATO will press ahead anyway, ready to absorb the huge 2,000-person Montenegrin military into its fold. 



Yahoo: Who Am I?


The board of Yahoo (what is Yahoo?) meets this week to decide if it should continue to exist. On the table is whether it should sell its stake in Alibaba (worth ~$30 billion) and/or sell its core business (worth a negative amount*). The company has survived a series of CEOs and multiple activist investors, but perhaps the time has come to call it quits. It is a sad end to the company that helped start the internet.
 

GOOD READ: Did Marissa Mayer Fail As A Leader?


*Assuming you spin off Alibaba and Yahoo Japan (worth $32 billion and $8.5 billion, respectively) and pay no taxes on them, that would leave a negative enterprise value (current valuation ~$31 billion). 
 


Russia/Turkey: You Buy Oil From ISIS, No YOU Buy Oil From ISIS 


As part of an ongoing segment we like to call “autocrats say the darnedest things,” the war of words between Vladimir Putin and Tayyip Erdogan intensified yesterday as both leaders accused each other of buying oil from ISIS. Russia released “hard evidence” of ISIS oil passing into Turkish hands, accusing Erdogan and his family of being directly involved in the trade. Erdogan, not known to take insults lightly (see below), called the accusations “slander.”   


#pnut4prez: Ben Carson’s 45 Minutes Of Fame Are Over? 


A new national poll shows that Ben Carson’s moment of glory might be coming to an end. The semi-comatose neurosurgeon is down 7% in the polls after it emerged that he didn’t quite get foreign policy and might have “exaggerated” his life story. Trump, though, is like one of those effing inflatable punching bags that doesn’t go down. He remains ahead of the pack, gaining 3% in the polls to bring him to a whopping 27%. Rubio trails behind with 17% and Cruz is tied with Carson with 16%.



Keeping Our Eye On…

  • Greece: The country came under pressure from the rest of the EU to do more to stem the flow of refugees and show refugees more humane treatment. Rumors even started that they could get out of the visa free Schengen regime.
  • Conspiracies: The Washington Post just caught on that the Middle East is full of them. A majority of Iraqis believe the US is arming and funding ISIS. Makes fighting this war really awkward.
  • Brazil (the B of BRICS): The country entered its worst recession since the Great Depression last quarter as the economy shrunk by 4.5%. The country seems to be falling apart politically and economically as calls to impeach President Rousseff have intensified.  


LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

 

Threaten Me But Please Don’t Call Me Nasty Names

 
Turkey’s alpha-male President Erdogan is prosecuting a physician for comparing him to the Lord of The Rings character Gollum (potential four year jail sentence). Sounds like pretty standard thin-skinned autocrat behavior except that experts have been called in to determine if Gollum (described in LOTR as a “small, slimy creature“) is evil or not. Erdogan previously sued a former Miss Turkey for insulting him. Bullied at school perhaps Mr. President?
 
Southern University Marching Band & Dancing Dolls  "Hello" by Adele (2015)
Because “Hello” is the Pnut’s anthem, we just couldn’t resist.
 
Today’s Pnut is sponsored by Lovepop.

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