December 04, 2015

Was It Terrorism?



Hummus rules the Gaza Strip.” Or at least that’s what it sounded like when presidential candidate Ben Carson gave a speech about militant group Hamas to a Republican Jewish group. Maybe he was hungry?  


California Shooting Either Terrorism Or Worst Day At The Office Ever

Explosives, automatic weapons and thousands of rounds of ammunition were found in the home of the couple who killed 14 people in San Bernardino, California on Wednesday. Police continued searching for a motive but are certain that the couple had another attack planned. Intelligence officials also stated that one of them had been in contact with Islamic extremist groups online. Obama said that the incident could either be terrorism or “workplace-related.” Not sure what needs to happen at work for you to shoot up co-workers but apparently it’s more common than you think. USEFUL READ: How To React During A Mass Shooting

FIFA No Longer Accepting Bribes After No One Left To Bribe

In another proud day for soccer (football), 16 FIFA officials, including many from South and Central America, were charged by the US for “criminal schemes” and “corruption” yesterday. The charges came hours after the arrest of two FIFA Vice Presidents in morning raids at a Swiss hotel (ironically they were there to discuss FIFA reforms). A total of 27 people have been charged since May accused of receiving $270 million in bribes.  

US Doubles Number Of Potential Soldiers

Took three years of thinking about it before US Defense Secretary Ash Carter finally decided to pull the trigger and allow women to serve in all combat roles in the armed forces, despite some objections by the Marine Corps. The move would allow women to serve in elite commando roles, something which is sure to take terrorist groups like ISIS by surprise. They are already terrified by female Kurdish fighters.
ECB: Super Mario No Longer As Super As Previously Thought European Central Bank (ECB) President Mario Draghi (aka Super Mario) disappointed the markets yesterday when he didn’t deliver as much stimulus as expected. The Euro jumped against the dollar and European stocks fell. All eyes now switch to the US Federal Reserve which, instead of adding stimulus like the ECB is doing, might be moving in the opposite direction and raising interest rates.

Republicans Try To Repeal Obamacare Out Of Habit

The Senate voted to to repeal Obamacare and defund Planned Parenthood. The House is likely to pass the bill, making this the first time since 2010 that such legislation will hit the President’s desk… at which point he’ll give it the big ol’ veto. Republicans have tried to repeal the law no less than 50 times. Despite symbolic votes like the one above their only hope will be to hope for a Republican President in 2016 to repeal it.

#pnut4prez: A Bust For ‘Old Iron Ass’ (AKA Dick Cheney)

For old time’s sake (and because the campaign trail could use some spice), we thought we’d bring you the immortal Dick Cheney. The man who brought us the Iraq War and made WMDs a household term was honored in the Capitol yesterday with none other than a… marble bust. That’s right America, no getting rid of him now. George W. spoke at the unveiling, but the elder Bush didn’t seem to mind missing it, ever critical of the man he fondly calls “Old Iron Ass.”

Keeping Our Eye On…

  • Belgium Terror Arrests: Two men have been charged in Belgium in connection with the November 13 Paris terror attack. The total number charged in relation to the attacks is now up to eight. One of the men was arrested as he tried to board a plane to Morocco.
  • Denmark-EU Tiff: Denmark has voted against adopting EU policies which would strengthen cross-border policing. The vote is being seen as a key test on whether the 28-member Eurozone will accept greater integration.
  • Oscar Pistorius: A South African appeals court overturned a former verdict of manslaughter against the former Olympic athlete. He will now be sentenced for murder with guidelines indicating a minimum 15-year sentence. The end for South Africa’s blade runner.


Turkmen Choir Breaks World Record For Loving Their Leader

A 4000-strong Turkmenistan choir has broken the world record for most number of singers singing the same melody. The song was composed by the country’s un-democratically elected President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov who was shown in the background playing the synthesizer and singing along. In 2011, the President gave a live TV guitar performance of a self-composed love song, For You, My White Flowers. He also recently unveiled an enormous gold statue of himself on horseback. And we thought it couldn’t get better than shirtless Putin on horseback.

Weekend Reads

A few reads that will help you avoid thinking about holiday shopping:
We are also highlighting these two great indiegogo campaigns:
Season 6 is coming (in April).
Today’s Pnut is sponsored by Lovepop.
Ever wonder what to get someone who doesn’t need anything?  Or just looking to say thank you in an unexpected way?  Lovepop makes intricate slicegami sculptures that totally shouldn’t fit in an envelope.  Send directly from with a handwritten note. Use code pnut for 25% off all orders while supplies last. Watch them appear on SharkTank on December 11.
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Yes, I want to sound marginally more intelligent: