PNUT GALLERY
If you are a British citizen or resident (or want to take the test to become one), we think you might want to sign this petition to ban Trump from the UK (you’ll be joining 380,000 others). It might even be debated in the House of Commons…
IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ
Merkel Crowned TIME’s Person Of The Year
Time Magazine declared German Chancellor Angela Merkel the 2015 person of the year, narrowly beating out less attractive candidates like the genocidal leader of ISIS, Baghdadi, and US xenophobe Donald Trump. Time credited the Chancellor, known for patiently plodding along aka Merkelling, for holding the EU together through two separate crises this year (Greek and the refugee crisis). This is the first time a woman has received the prize in 29 years. Meanwhile, don’t forget to vote for the Pnut’s “Least Influential Person Award.”
GOOD READ: TIME’s Person Of The Year Award
Two Roads Parted In The Woods, Both Sucked
First: Planned Parenthood Robert L. Dear, Jr., the man responsible for killing three people at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs, appeared in court for the first time yesterday. He shouted sporadically a few times declaring that he was “guilty” and a “warrior for the babies.” It is unclear exactly how Dear became radicalized to the point of shooting up a clinic. Second: San Bernardino Authorities also tried to figure out another path to radicalization as they continued their investigation into Syed Farook and his wife Tashfeen Malik who killed 14 people in San Bernardino last week. The FBI believes that the couple spoke about plotting terror attacks before they met via an online dating site (not your standard Tinder chit chat we presume). They aren’t the only people being radicalized, though, as ISIS reportedly doubled its recruitment of foreign fighters in the last year.
NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ
Bitcoin’s Creator (Maybe) Revealed…Can He Explain Bitcoin To Us? Bitcoin, that thing that you don’t really understand but is “the next big thing,” was invented by someone with the pseudonym Satoshi Nakamoto. No one knows who the real inventor is (a few attempts to find out backfired), but yesterday several sources named the inventor as an unknown Australian academic, Craig Steven Wright. The current total value of the digital currency is around $6.3 billion so if you are feeling flush go buy a Lamborghini (the first car company to accept the currency).MAKE YOU SOUND SMART READ: Bitcoin Actually Explained
Yahoo: What The Eff Are We Trying To Spin Off?
Yahoo (weird fact: it’s short for Yet Another Hierarchically Organized Oracle) has decided to abandon the planned spin-off of its $32 billion Alibaba stake after someone woke up and realized that such a move could result in a substantial tax bill. The company will now instead spin-off its core business (which is?). Embattled CEO Marissa Mayer has vowed to stay in charge after the Yahoo Chairman offered her his “full confidence.†That’s not very re-assuring.
CHRONOLOGICAL READ: Timeline – Marissa Mayer At Yahoo
America: Why Is It Either Mass Shootings Or Police Killings?
Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emmanuel apologized to the people of Chicago yesterday for the shooting of black teenager Laquan McDoanld (aged 17) by a white police officer. Emmanuel (who once mailed a dead fish to a pollster he didn’t like) was trying to appease protesters angry at the way police treat minorities in the city. Protesters took to the streets anyway demanding Emmanuel go further and resign.
#pnut4prez: Forrest Trump
Trump’s comments continued drawing condemnation from unlikely places yesterday but didn’t seem to threaten his position as the frontrunner for the Republican nomination. A Bloomberg online poll (important to note that these aren’t scientific) of potential Republican primary voters found that two thirds agreed with Trump’s plan. Unfortunately, with Trump threatening to stay in this race until the end, the damage his hateful rhetoric will do threatens to be deep and profound.
Keeping Our Eye On…
- Kandahar Attack: The Afghan Taliban carried out an attack on Kandahar airport, killing at least 37 people. After a 26-hour battle the Afghan army regained control. This follows the Taliban briefly seizing the strategically important city of Kunduz in September.
- Education Bill Passed: The Senate voted overwhelmingly to end the No Child Left Behind Act and pass a new bill which will send significant powers back to states and local districts with limited federal oversight. The legislation will affect over 50 million public school students.
- North Face Founder Death: Founder of the outdoor apparel company and renowned conservationist, Douglas Tompkins, died in a kayaking accident in Chile. He was 72.
- Weird Pnuts: Kim-Jong Un sent the North Korean version of the Spice Girls to China on a diplomatic mission, Obama’s favorite 2015 song is by Kendrick Lamar (the artist behind the elegantly named To Pimp A Butterfly) and Uber announces UberHOP, a school bus for adults.
SPONSORED NUTS: MUSEXCARLY’S HOLIDAY PICKS MuseXCarly’s Pick For The Emotional: Alison Lou 🙂 Alison Chemla is the creative director and designer of Alison Lou, a fine jewelry brand made in NYC, inspired by the deceptive simplicity of modern communication. Her signature first collection is a thoughtful and cheeky commentary on the expression of feelings — from the banal to the intimate — through the language of emoticons. She then ventured off into five other collections that also use messages as a way of expressing yourself through jewelry. Click on the links below to shop now! | 
