PNUT GALLERY Are you Alaskan or Californian? Time to celebrate. Are you are Michiganian/Michigander(?!?) (ie. someone from Michigan), not so much. The results of the state corruption survey are out. How is your state doing?
IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ
Nation Of Immigrants Wants To ‘Pause’ Immigration
Hysteria gripped Congress as lawmakers passed a bill proposing a “pause” in accepting Syrian refugees until the vetting process had been properly…err…vetted. Refugees already face an 18-24 month process before they can be let into the country and some Republicans have invoked Japanese internment during WWII as a possible solution or compared them to rabid dogs (Ben Carson). Obama has threatened to veto the bill.
Meanwhile, a report found that net Mexican migration to the US was negative (more left than came in). That didn’t stop Donald Trump from continuing to advocate for a wall, especially after the discovery of eight Syrian refugees at the border (they voluntarily turned themselves in).
France: We Got ‘Le Batarde’
France confirmed that the mastermind behind last Friday’s attack, Abdelhamid Abaaoud, died in a police raid in a Parisian suburb (the body was almost impossible to identify as it had been riddled with so many bullets). Abaaoud had gone back and forth between Europe and Syria using the chaos from the refugee crisis as cover. Europe, which unlike the US isn’t protected by two oceans, has long feared that terrorists could slip in with the waves of refugees.
French Interior Minister told Europe to “wake up” to the threat posed from terrorists. Add that to the list of things Europe needs to wake up to (economic crisis, populism etc).
NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ
Facebook Makes Break-Up Misery A Little Less Miserable
Facebook (you spend at least 40 minutes a day on it) is testing new tools which will ease the pain of seeing your ex looking happy after a break-up. You will be able to see less of your ex without having to unfriend or block him or her and will be able to reduce the visibility of old photos, posts or pokes (can you still poke?). This will ruin the dreams and hopes of cyber-stalkers across the world…
Israel: Just In Case The Middle East Was Getting Boring
Five people were killed in attacks in Tel Aviv and the West Bank yesterday. Two men were stabbed near an office building in Tel Aviv by a Palestinian man from the West Bank. Another attack in the West Bank killed an Israeli Jew, an American student and a Palestinian passer-by. The attacks threaten to derail attempts at normalization after weeks of violence (the two sides had just agreed on a 3G license for the West Bank).
Keeping Our Eye On…
- Harvard Vandalism: Police are investigating after black tape was placed over pictures of African-American faculty members at Harvard Law School. Dean Minnow responded, calling racism a “serious problem” at the school.
- Diamonds Are Forever: The second-largest diamond in history was unearthed in Botswana this week. The 1,111 carat diamond is likely to be valued at….start saving. Don’t understand carrots from carats? We can help.
- Square Inc Goes Public: Shares in the money payments “unicorn” soared by over 45% from its public offering price. CEO (also CEO of Twitter), Jack Dorsey, 39, is now the head of two multibillion-dollar public companies…..way to make everyone else feel inadequate.
LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
US State Department Wins Global Trolling Award
A Russian newspaper has published a damning letter showing that US officials have been paying local activists to promote instability in the country….except it is entirely false. The US State Department posted the fake letter with spelling corrections saying “next time you are going to use fake letters…we will be happy to correct your mistakes.” They also pointed out that they would never use private emails….unless you are called Hillary. The State Department has previously trolled ISIS militants to glorious effect. Weekend Reads |
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