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PNUT GALLERY
“I am fun. I enjoy fun. I both have fun and can be fun. Fun is a word that accurately describes me and a large quantity of things of which I am fond.”
-Hillary Clinton
JK… that’s the Onion’s take on HRC… she likes to think she’s more “humorous” than “fun” though.
IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ
Turkish Elections: Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t
Turkey will be going to the polls this weekend after a previous election earlier this year resulted in a hung parliament. Here is quick summary.
Who are the parties (acronyms, acronyms, acronyms)?
- AKP: The ruling Islamist party. They are accused of autocratic tendencies, slowly introducing religion to the secular Turkish state, corruption and starting a civil war with the Kurds.
- CHP: The largest opposition party in Turkey. Committed to the secular tradition of Kemal Ataturk, the founder of Modern Turkey. Accused of being out of touch with the pious electorate in rural Anatolia.
- MHP: A far-right, ultra-nationalist party. They are accused of, well, being far-right.
- HDP: The wild card of the election. This Kurdish party represents the Kurdish minority in Eastern Anatolia. If they get 10% of the vote then they enter Parliament, which ensures that AKP does not get a parliamentary majority.
What’s at stake?
- Economy: It’s been in a dire state with the Turkish lira down and growth stalling.
- Syria: The ongoing civil war is starting to spill-over into Turkey with the country hosting nearly two million refugees. ISIS has also used the chaos to expand its presence in the country, allegedly carrying out a bombing in Ankara earlier this month killed at least 100.
- Kurds: A long-standing conflict with Kurdish separatist group, PKK, has flared up recently leaving over 150 dead.
- Corruption and power: A corruption inquiry into Erdogan and his inner circle (including his son) was shut down in January 2014. Erdogan is worried that if he loses power he will be tried. He is also hoping to get a two-thirds majority in Parliament, which would allow him to switch the country to a presidential system and give him more power.
Whichever way you slice it, the stakes are high for Turkey. If the AKP get their majority then Turkey risks a more authoritarian government. If they lose, then no coalition might be able to govern the country. The world will be watching.
NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ
China Escalates Rhetoric Against US
China was visibly irate with a US naval “incursion†into what it claimed were its territorial waters in the South China Sea. The Chinese Foreign Ministry called the incursion “illegal†and a “deliberate provocation.†China was responding to a “Freedom of Navigation†patrol by a US Navy Destroyer within a 12-mile strip off a man-made island China built in the Spratly Island Chains. So far, there are few clues on what the next move will be.
Wildly Hyped Start-Up Theranos Continues Fall From Grace
Theranos, the hot Silicon Valley blood analysis start-up founded by 31-year-old Elizabeth Holmes, has come under more scrutiny as the FDA said its flagship blood vial was an “uncleared medical device” (this is the opposite of good). This is another blow for the $9 billion company which has backing from Henry Kissinger to George Schultz and Larry Ellison. Holmes recently said the company was in a “pause period” while they seek FDA approval (this is also the opposite of good).
Apple Running Out Of People Who Can Buy iPhones
Apple, still on a path to become its own nation-state, continued its quest for world domination with a fourth quarter 31% earnings spike which sent shares up 3%. This is the 12th successive quarter that Apple surpasses earnings estimates. iPhone sales (the device that has destroyed human interaction) account for two-thirds of Apple’s revenues. Analysts are worried that they won’t be able to bring out more iPhones.
#pnut4prez: Clinton Reiterates That She Does Not, In Fact, Feel The Bern
Hillary Clinton is well ahead of her rival Bernie Sanders (and that other guy, O’Malley) in the latest poll out of Iowa. Clinton commanded a 41% lead against Bernie, favored by 65% of Democrats over Bernie’s 24%. The Clinton campaign isn’t celebrating though, with her communications director going so far as to call the polls “crazy wrong.” Hard to really complain when you are so far ahead though.
Keeping Our Eye On…
- First Russia Fatality In Syria: Russia’s Ministry of Defense confirmed its first death in the country’s Syria campaign. According to a government statement, 19-year-old serviceman Vadim Kostenko allegedly committed suicide after breaking up with his girlfriend — a claim denied by his parents.
- Yemen: Airstrikes hit a Doctors Without Borders hospital in Yemen yesterday. Saudi Arabia, which is bombing Yemen, has denied hitting the hospital despite claiming it knocked out all the enemy planes earlier in the war.
- UK Lords Revolt: Britain has two parliamentary chambers: the House of Commons (elected) and the House of Lords (appointed). For the first time in 100 years, the Lords rejected financial legislation, which was passed by the Commons. The PM called it a “constitutional crisis.”
LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT
Saudi Actor Arrested For Being Too Good Looking
A popular Saudi actor was arrested by the notorious Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice police (this is actually its name) after taking selfies with female fans in a mall. The actor is a social media star and serial poser for slightly odd photos. He has been released on bail pending charges of mixing with unrelated women and disturbing public order. Although you’ve probably never considered it, think twice before taking a selfie in Saudi.
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Jeb Bush just wants to be a dentist!
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Today’s Pnut is sponsored by PetPlate!
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