September 17, 2015

“Cool Clock Ahmed”

 
 

PNUT GALLERY

“First of all Rand Paul shouldn’t even be up on stage” – just one of the many GOP debate zingers. Bored of the debate? Check out our handy Bernie Sanders nutshell. 

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ

On My Count…Republican Candidates Brawl!

Last night Republican candidates lined up for the second presidential debate. A three hour marathon where candidates were asked questions that encouraged them to yell at each other in a way that benefited no one except, perhaps, CNN’s ratings. Instead of focusing on what they stood for candidates were asked to respond to comments made about them by other candidates, sometimes about issues as trivial as their appearance. Despite the hullaballoo there were some notable performances:
  • Carly Fiorina hits hard – the former HP CEO attacked Trump for his previous misogynistic comments amount women. Fiorina, who made millions violating Iran sanctions while head of HP, also came out strongly against the Iran Deal.
  • Ben Carson continued his quiet ascent – Quiet in the first half of the debate, Dr. Carson said he is the only candidate not backing immigrant amnesty, spoke about healthcare and argued against his rivals skepticism of vaccinations.
  • John Kasich plays role of parent: Former Ohio governor tried to play the role of “reasonable Republican” talking about how he would use allies to strengthen America’s hand with Iran and not make rash decisions to shut down the US government.
  • Jeb Bush tried to look happy – He fumbled the question on how he is different from the other Bush Presidents but tried to show “more energy” and attack Trump as well as outline his immigration plan. Oh and his mum is angry at him.
There were also some great awkward moments and one-liners in the debate as the candidates sparred… Are the Democrats having a debate anytime soon?

 

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ

Muslim Boy Arrested In Texas For Building A Clock…

Being Muslim in America can make things a bit difficult for you. You are more likely to be “randomly checked” at airports and less likely to get hired. For 14-year-old Ahmed Mohamed in Texas it also means that your class project might be construed as a bomb. Ahmed was arrested when he brought a homemade clock to school which his ninth grade teacher thought was a bomb… Thankfully, it wasn’t all bad news for Ahmed, Obama invited Ahmed to the White House and Zuck invited him to Facebook.

Hungary Vs. Refugees… Tear Gas Manufacturers Win

Hungarian police clashed with refugees at the border with Serbia yesterday after some of them were able to break through the newly completed border fence. Police fired tear gas and water cannons at the refugees who responded by throwing stones and water bottles back. The refugees, who are in an ever-growing camp on the Serbian side of the border, had given Hungary a two hour ultimatum to open the border. It’s probably safe to say that this border fence won’t solve anything.

Bad Beer = Big Business


What’s the difference between a Miller Lite and a Bud Lite? To start with they both taste like this and now they might be owned by the same company. AB-InBev is in talks to buy its biggest rival SAB Miller. Combined the two companies would control ~70% of the beer business in the US and 30% globally and would own all these brands. The deal is rumored at more than $75 billion (the GDP of Belarus). 

FUN READ: The Things You Never Knew About Beer

 

ISIS: If You Can’t Beat Them, Just Tell Your Boss You Did

You know that little white lie you tell when you cover up something at work? Well, allegedly so do some senior US military commanders who are being accused of embellishing reports about the ongoing war with ISIS. The accusations, if true, will have serious ramifications into how intelligence agencies report on their own progress and how the almost year long war against ISIS is managed (or mis-managed). 

Keeping Our Eye On…

  • Russia Talks Syria With US: After having already sent military equipment into Syria without telling anyone, the Russian foreign minister wants to chat with John Kerry and confirm their objective to fight IS. Glad to sort that one out.
  • Fed Meeting: The Fed should announce today if it will raise interest rates for the first time in almost a decade… this is the closest monetary policy comes to being exciting. 
  • Colorado Weed Tax: Colorado made potheads even happier when accountants miscalculated the revenue made off marijuana in 2014 which prompted a tax holiday on weed yesterday. One owner of a dispensary commented that he “probably saved $45,000 before lunch.” 

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

You Took My Phone Off Charge…Bad Jihadi!

Omar Hussain fled the comfort of the UK to go be a jihadi in Syria last year. After running around saying he was going to “bomb the UK” and appearing tough on YouTube, he has now started complaining about how his fellow Jihadis are badly mannered. He complains that they “push in the queue”, “unplug his phone from charging” and “share each other’s footwear.” You would have thought that overthrowing infidels, establishing a caliphate and generally hating everyone would be more important priorities….
  Ali G and Donald Trump
A little throwback Thursday to when Ali G interviewed The Donald.
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