September 24, 2015

'Better Than Expected Atmosphere'


The “Iran Deal” used to mean joining Frank Sinatra, Andy Warhol and Kissinger for Washington DC’s hottest party at the Iranian Embassy. Then along came an Ayatollah…what a funsponge.



Pope Laughs, Kisses And Drives His Way Into American Affection 

The Popemobile/Fiat 500 was out in full force yesterday as Pope Francis was greeted by huge crowds of devotees in DC. He met President Obama (seemed to have some pre-prepared jokes for BO) and praised him for his action on climate change. The President and Pope Francis met privately in the Oval Office where the Head of the Catholic Church was given a sculpture of an ascending dove and a key to someone’s house.

The Pope also performed the first canonization on US soil. Today he will address a joint session of Congress and lunch with the homeless. Although some Republicans think that he shouldn’t mix politics with religion (hahahaha), this is a wonderful and moving visit. 

GOOD READ: Papal visit to the US in pictures


EU Finally Decides To Meet To Discuss Refugees 

It only took about two years, but the EU finally sat down for an emergency summit to figure out how to handle the influx of refugees on its shores. Despite our incredibly low expectations, the EU did manage to agree to a number of things and had a “better-than-expected atmosphere:”
  • Increasing aids to Syria’s neighbors who are hosting the majority of the refugees
  • Donating one billion euros to the UNHCR
  • Mandatory quotas (although Slovakia is protesting)
  • Sending security forces to “hot spots†to help with screening refugees
Better late than never, huh. 


Egypt: You Get A Pardon And You Get A Pardon

Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi celebrated the Muslim Eid Al Adha yesterday by pardoning 100 journalists and activists including Al Jazeera journalist Mohamed Fahmy. The pardons will allow them to spend the feast with their families. In the meantime, the Egyptian military celebrated their act of goodwill by buying some warships. Happy Eid! 

WEIRD READ: Fahmy’s statement to Al-Jazeera in the NYT

Why Everyone Should Be As Lucky As Former Volkswagen CEO

What happens when you cheat on 11 million tests, defraud the government, pollute the environment and cost your company almost $7 billion? You get fired (as you should) and walk away with a $32 million pension (as you shouldn’t). The board said that Winterkorn (the Volkswagen CEO) had “no knowledge†of the emissions cheating scandal… way to run a tight ship there.

#pnut4prez: Trump Vs. Fox? Our Money Is On Trump 

Trump, the Triumphant Toupee, clashed again with Fox news yesterday after being cancelled from “The O’Reilly Factor.†Trump complained on Twitter that Fox was treating him “very unfairly.†Fox didn’t back down and issued a statement worth quoting in length: 

“When coverage doesn’t go his way, he engages in personal attacks on our anchors and hosts, which has grown stale and tiresome. He doesn’t seem to grasp that candidates telling journalists what to ask is not how the media works in this country.â€

We can’t tell what is more shocking: Fox standing for journalistic integrity or the fact that Trump, a Republican, can shut out Fox and still come out on top. 

Keeping Our Eye On…

  • FIFA: Another one bit the dust as Switzerland agreed to extradite yet another FIFA official to the US for corruption charges. 
  • Hacking: Not enough that your Social Security Number is somewhere in Beijing? Apparently Chinese hackers were also able to access 5.6 million fingerprints… just when Xi Jinping is visiting Washington. 

  • Colombia: Big news for LatAm’s longest running conflict. The Colombian government and FARC (communist) rebels had a big breakthrough on peace talks. Peace is in sight for Colombia. 



Dalai Lama Wants His Successor To Be ‘Very Attractive’


Tibet’s spiritual leader and the man who has cracked the art of looking permanently cheerful has courted controversy by saying that his successor could be a female and “her face should be very, very attractive” otherwise “she’s not much use.” The Dalai Lama was calling for a wider role for women in world affairs but somehow managed to damage his self-declared “feminist” credentials with this gaffe. 

INFORMATIVE READ: History of the Dalai Lama


Pope Francis calls over young girl for hug during Washington parade – video
We hope this video makes you as happy as it made us. 
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