July 03, 2015

US making jobs, Greek optimism, Oil spills, FIFA transparency (?!?) and America’s birthday

“The World in a Nutshell”

Give your friends a gift this July 4th weekend and send them this Pnut so they can sign up here.

IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READ US Adds Jobs and Loses Workers The US economy is a bit like your friend who says he is single because he “isn’t interested in anyone right now.” US unemployment dipped to 5.3% (lowest since before the crisis) but the drop was due to people no longer looking for work. The US calculates unemployment as people who are actively looking for a job and can’t find one, meaning that the rate can be lowered either by creating new jobs or by getting people to stop looking for jobs… the latter method is easier. The US did add about 223,000 jobs last month (short of the expected 233,000) but wages remained flat. Labor participation hasn’t been this low since 1977. Investors were, naturally, confused.

Greece… Some Positive News?
It has been quite a week for the Hellenic Republic (fancy way of saying Greece). However, there may be some hope now as Greek Finance Minister, Yanis Varoufakis, did promise to resign if Greeks vote yes (please vote yes) and the IMF came out supporting a deal that would require debt relief for Greece. Perhaps, however, most uplifting of all was how people were helping Greece get through the crisis. Diaspora Greeks set up a proxy to help local startups bypass capital controls to keep the lights on and keep businesses afloat and almost 100,000 people contributed 1.5 million euros in a symbolic act of unity with the country on an Indiegogo campaign. As Greece heads into referendum weekend, we know that all is not lost for the country that started Western Civilization. GOOD READ: Our guide on the Greek crisis (same one as the last two days)

NUTS AND BOLTS: SHOULD READ FIFA: Because The Mafia Wasn’t Corrupt Enough The US made a formal extradition request to Switzerland yesterday for the seven members of the executive team that the Swiss government had arrested back in May. The FIFA inquiry has made the US the most loved country in the world of football (even though America still calls it soccer). This is being considered as one of the longest running corruption scams since the Cosa Nostra with indictments calling it a “24-year scheme to enrich themselves (dodgy FIFA officials)”.

BP Agrees To (Pretend To) Be A Responsible Adult
It is a bad day for people going against the US. BP agreed to hand over $18.7 billion to the US govt. in the largest “settlement with a single entity in history” for its role in the Deepwater Horizon oil spill of 2010. The sum is indeed immense. In fact, if the settlement were a country it would be the 111th biggest country, ranking ahead of countries such as Bosnia, Senegal and Iceland. The spill claimed 11 lives and spewed oil into the Gulf of Mexico for 87 days before they finally figured out how to block it. For a reenactment of the spill please refer to the movie at the end of this email.

LOOSE NUTS: FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Independence Day – The Truth Behind America’s Birthday
Everyone knows that July 4th is the only day of the year where you can wear Stars and Stripes underwear and be called a national hero. Tomorrow will commemorate 239 years of Independence for the land of freedom, more freedom and a neo-liberal interventionist foreign policy. We love ‘Murica and we encourage you to lie back, think of the American dream and eat your bodyweight in hot-dogs. For many around the world America is a beacon of hope and opportunity and we hope that it continues to be so for many centuries to come. Not least so we can continue to troll and lampoon everything about the land where anyone…yes really anyone can make it. America – you be you – Happy Birthday!