June 29, 2015

Greferendum, Iran Deadlines, ISIS Attacks and Bacon… 

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IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READS Grexit, Greccident, Greferendum, GrOHMYGOD!  This weekend, Greece embraced the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (the only German thing Greece embraced). The closer we came to understand what was going on, the faster it changed. On July 5, Greeks will go to the polls in a nationwide referendum to see if they will accept bailout conditions that may or may not have been offered by the EU on Friday (it is unclear what actually happened in that meeting). Greeks will have to decide if they are in favor of “reforms for the completion of the current program” and “preliminary debt sustainability analysis” in what is, perhaps, the most complicated referendum in history. Both documents were translated into Greek on Saturday, and it is unclear if anyone had actually read them. In fact, after three hours of searching online we couldn’t even find the documents. Another minor complication is that both these proposals are now off the table and “irrelevant.” Tsipras also mentioned that the referendum is about democracy and not about euro membership (whatever that means) and he asks for a “no” vote while promising to keep Greece in the euro. EU Commission President Juncker sought to provide “transparency to the Greek people” by explaining his side of the story. Greek banks will close and impose capital controls this week. So in short: Greece is having a referendum about documents that can’t be found, and no one has read on a proposal that isn’t valid while the ATMs have no cash… days ’till default: one. GOOD READ: At this point, I would refer to a Holy Text of your choosing to understand this crisis.
America And Iran Agree On Missing Deadline
Jealous that Greece gets to flout deadlines, the US and Iran have decided to follow suit and also miss their June 30 deadline for a nuclear agreement. Missing the deadline is an important milestone in the talks as it shows that despite all their disagreements, both sides can, indeed, agree on some things. The deal has been dogged by issues relating to lifting of sanctions, length of an agreement, inspections and a host of technical details that, lets be honest, neither of us understands. Understanding the gravity of the talks, presidential hopeful Jeb Bush, took to twitter to express his disapproval
On Friday, ISIS struck on three continents, attacking a beach in Tunisia, a mosque in Kuwait and a power plant in France. Here is what we have learned since Saturday morning:

Tesco Wished Customers Ramadan Mubarak… With Bacon
UK retailing giant wished shoppers a Ramadan Mubarak with smokey bacon Pringles. The gesture was a heartwarming display of multicultural understanding except for one problem… Muslims can’t eat pork (the key ingredient in bacon). Tesco responded by saying that “we recognize that these Pringles weren’t in the most suitable place and our store colleagues have now moved them.” If you have a friend that works at Tesco, please send them this handy guide of things Muslims can’t consume for their next Ramadan promotion.  
  President Obama delivers Eulogy – FULL VIDEO (C-SPAN)
Video correction: Over the weekend we meant to link you to Obama’s eulogy for Charleston shooting victim state Senator Clementa Pinckney but linked you to his funeral for Beau Biden instead. This is the correct link.
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