June 30, 2015

Greece, America’s Greece, Christie, Le Uber, Chinese IMF and Dildos ????

 
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IN A NUTSHELL: MUST READS Greece: Because Compromise Is For Weaklings Greece joins Zambia today in an exclusive club of nations to have defaulted on the IMF. As Greece enters the second day of bank closures both sides are hardening their stances (because, you know, who wants to cooperate to end a crisis). So far the contention has been around the meaning of the snap bailout referendum. PM Tsipras claims that a “no” vote would help him get a better deal from Europe (the electoral equivalent of playing hard to get). European Commission President Juncker, Italian PM Renzi and French President Francois Hollande all said they won’t fall for it, and for them no means no. Markets were not amused by the European display of machismo. Stock markets ended down from Tokyo to Chicago with the Euro taking a beating and volatility surging a whopping 35 percent. Traders reported recurring dreams of Lehman Brothers. Meanwhile MSCI threatened to downgrade Greek equities to the same level as Zimbabwe… P.S.: Despite tweeting at Greek Finance Minister Varoufakis, we still haven’t found the documents the Greeks have to vote on next week. If found please send them to tewfik@opedspace.com GOOD CAUSE: Help end the Greek crisis by donating to this Indiegogo campaign
Puerto Rico: America’s Greece
The US has a long tradition of being envious of Greece (what else explains all that neoclassical architecture in DC), and it was evident again today as Puerto Rico was labelled as America’s Greece. However, Puerto Rican debt is much lower than Greece’s, and it is in a “fiscal union” with the US (no matter what Donald Trump might think). The Caribbean island is expected to enter into debt restructuring talks after their governor declared that their $73 billion debt was “not payable.” Vulture fund managers are reportedly excited about the prospect of getting a tan while investing in Puerto Rico, which offers a better climate than Detroit. 
Christie To Officially Announce Presidential Bid
Flashback to 2003 when Young Gunz came out with their Grammy-nominated song “Can’t Stop Won’t Stop,” but this time with Chris Christie starring in the music video. This man really won’t give it a rest. If you don’t recall, this is the scandal-ridden Republican governor of New Jersey who weathered Bridgegate and rose to fame for berating constituents and reporters, among others. Not so shockingly, he’s now running on the slogan “Telling It Like It Is,” launching an initial campaign video that was also not so shockingly me, myself and I. But Governor, we applaud your determination and thank you for entering the race, because things are just starting to heat up. In the wise words of Young Gunz, now it’s time to… get down, baby.
Let Zem Drive Le Uber? Since Uber launched its UberPOP service life has not been the same for French taxi drivers. Their revenues have fallen by 30 to 40 percent in two years. And when the French are angry and unoccupied, they take to the barricades, which is exactly what the taxi drivers did. Today the government came to their rescue and arrested two of Uber’s leading executives in Europe — the CEO of Uber Europe and Uber France — on charges of “inciting undeclared work.” And nothing makes the French more upset than being incited to do something as ghastly as work. 
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TOUGH NUT: STILL IN THE NEWS China Wins International Award For Gloating 
China took the first step in an “epic journey” yesterday as it launched an IMF rival called the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank (AIIB) in Beijing. This came in the face of stiff US opposition due to “environmental” concerns (always a US priority) with the institution signing up Britain, Germany, South Korea, Australia and over 45 other countries to implement infrastructure investment across Asia. This might as well have been called National Gloating Day in China, as the government genuinely seemed to enjoy annoying the US more than bringing investment to Asia. Xinhua state news agency writer Tian Dongdong (amazing) accused Washington of holding “sour grapes,” calling ‘Murica “petulant and cynical” for apparently lobbying allies not to join the $100 billion bank. Mr Dongdong, please just continue being you.
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IN OTHER NEWS…

Proud And Jihadi
We know you’ve probably all already seen it, but we wanted to share it again anyway to brighten up your day. CNN thought it had broken an exclusive story when it reported that ISIS had infiltrated London’s gay pride parade (a natural place for any Jihadi). It turns out that CNN had mistaken a parody of the flag composed of dildos and other sex toys for the actual flag itself. CNN called in renowned terrorism expert Peter Bergen to weigh in. He took the interview remarkably seriously, saying that it is “possible” that it was a parody. We’ll let John Oliver explain it to you below. 
  Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - Same-Sex Marriage Legalisation
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